


Dream of Mirrors

by uv_duv



Series: Hell's Heart [7]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Dirty Dancing, Dirty Talk, Dream Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Mind Games, Mindwiping, Road Trips, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:14:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uv_duv/pseuds/uv_duv
Summary: ***I should have made this a chaptered work but it's too late now. Read the other parts first, there's a ton of necessary context.***Nandor proposes a truce. Despite his best efforts, Guillermo still struggles to trust him and can’t help but see the worst in everything he does.“Okay, one kiss,” Guillermo relented. He pushed back from the sink and turned around to face Nandor. Nandor just looked at him for a moment, an unguarded expression of pure… love? Was that what it was? Guillermo hoped so. Decided so. For that night, at least.”
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Series: Hell's Heart [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845076
Comments: 15
Kudos: 45





	Dream of Mirrors

Nandor immediately stormed the restaurant, rapping on the glass doors. “I demand to be let in! I demand an exchange for something that my partner will eat or I will burn this infernal eatery to the fucking ground!” he roared, shaking the bag of green beans. 

_ My partner…  _ Guillermo practically swooned in his seat at the cracked plastic table, stars in his eyes at the display. Watching Nandor attack a restaurant over something as small as Guillermo accidentally ordering something he didn’t like made him feel like a sparkler on the Fourth of July.

An employee, probably the guy that took their order, threatened to call the cops on them. Guillermo took the bag of food from Nandor and sped into the restaurant, arranging a trade for hush puppies with a lot of apologies and repeated promises that they would leave.

In the van, Nandor immediately asked Guillermo, “Could I put some balls in your mouth?” Guillermo chuckled at the innuendo and said yes. 

Colin Robinson groaned from the backseat as Nandor blew on and then gently plopped a warm hush puppy on Guillermo’s tongue. 

\----- 

“I want to see you in your new coat,” Nandor said once they were settled in the next hotel room. Guillermo brought the star covered gift box with him into the bathroom, gesturing to Nandor to join him. Colin Robinson had followed them into the hotel and was on a laptop on the only bed, steadfastly ignoring them. 

“Hold out your arms, please,” Nandor said, imitating the pose himself briefly.

Guillermo happily held out his arms in a T-shape as Nandor slid on the bandolier and then the trench coat, one arm at a time. 

“Turn around. Look at yourself,” Nandor said warmly.

Guillermo could see the top half of his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The black trench coat was seemingly cut just for him. His stubble was getting heavier, his hair longer; he had let his grooming habits go a bit during the roadtrip, but… he liked his new look. Until very recently, he had never felt dangerous in his entire life. The front of the trench coat wrapped around him, the belt tied itself into a knot, and the collar flipped up and buttoned itself closed.

“Now you are ready if there is a big scary vampire behind you with impure intentions…” Nandor whispered playfully against his ear. Guillermo raised an eyebrow at his own reflection, enjoying the game. 

He felt a quick clamp against his neck. “See? I can’t bite through it. Safe and sound,” Nandor hugged Guillermo from behind, “Well… for the most part.”

Nandor picked up Guillermo easily, turned him around to face him, and pinned him to the wall. Guillermo smirked and said, “Oh no… What is the big scary vampire going to do to me?” biting his lower lip, meeting Nandor’s mischievous gaze, wrapping his arms and legs around him. 

“Ugh. Can you just skip ahead already?" Colin Robinson complained from the bed.

"To what? You are wanting to watch us fuck?" Nandor scoffed, still holding Guillermo against the wall. An excited burst of flame licked up Guillermo’s body at the thought of him and Nandor finally-- 

"I’m not opposed to it.” 

The flame extinguished instantly. 

“But I meant your little cycle. Eventually, you’re going to do something that pisses Guillermo off and then I feast. You’re taking a while and giving me acid reflux."

At that moment, it was easier for Guillermo to blame Colin Robinson for ruining Adelaide’s than Nandor.  _ Beautiful Nandor…  _ who had him pinned to a wall, had floored the accelerator on his heart rate, who had just said they would finally fuck... 

He whispered to Nandor to trust him. “Kiss me on the bed. Bring us as close to Colin Robinson as you can.” 

Nandor grimaced at him and muttered "Uh, okay... I guess…" but went with it once Guillermo pulled him in for a gentle kiss. As Nandor carried him to the bed, Guillermo pushed away the seething black mass of Nandor’s betrayals and lies and clung to the blanket of stars that Nandor had scrambled to find for him at Cracker Barrel when he asked for space, Nandor speeding over a hundred miles an hour to find him food at 3 AM, Nandor referring to him as “my partner”... They rolled over each other towards Colin Robinson, the bed dipping with their weight. 

“Eugh, you guys are like drinking laundry detergent," he tried to move to the edge of the bed, the rolling log of Nandor and Guillermo following him, "...Fine, I’ll scrounge around the parking lot. Not like anyone's online anyway.” 

Before he left, he closed the laptop, smiled, and made direct eye contact with Guillermo.

“Quick thought before I jet. Do you think Nandor’s ever had Laszlo hypnotize you for him? You know, since they’re such... good friends.”

Guillermo froze on top of Nandor, involuntarily picturing Nandor’s hands wrapped in Laszlo’s hair again.  _ Fuck you, Colin Robinson…  _ He buried his head in the crook of Nandor’s shoulder, held him tight, tried to breathe through it, to go back to the golden ring, the silver crucifix, the black trench coat, to not give Colin Robinson the satisfaction of his anger, despair, or jealousy, but when he looked up he saw his eyes glow blue as he closed the door and left.

\-----

Nandor cupped Guillermo’s face in his hands and started to talk but Guillermo cut him off, brushing his hands away.

“Please don’t. Right now, I just… I don’t want to--to do that part of the cycle. When we fight,” Guillermo said, sighing, suddenly feeling so much more tired.

Guillermo got off of Nandor and returned to his reflection in the bathroom. He opened the collar of the black trench coat, smoothing it flat again. Nandor settled his invisible head on his shoulder and replied that maybe a truce of sorts would be good.  _ A truce. Of course Nandor would think of it that way…  _

“Sure. A truce then. We can try to kill each other again some other time,” Guillermo joked bleakly to his reflection.

“Well, I hope you have mercy on me, because I have given you a clear advantage.” The front of the trench coat opened on its own. Guillermo watched his entire body move back and forth from a force tugging on the shoulders of the trench coat.

“You see also, I cannot remove it. Might as well be a part of you,” Nandor demonstrated.

It reminded Guillermo of the items he did remove. The flashlight smacked out of his grip, the stake against his throat, the hand that flung his bandolier into the pitch black woods…  _ Nandor biting him in the dark and then staking his old trench coat into the dirt.  _ Terror. He steadied his hands on the bathroom sink.  _ Nandor kissing his hands bathed in candlelight after giving him the new trench coat. _ Joy. 

Guillermo felt like his mind was being sawed in half. It was like the tension of bringing two magnets together the wrong way. There was a pause and then Nandor said, “We do have the room to ourselves now, if you are wanting to remove it… You are quite the little strategist...” 

Nandor kissed his cheek softly. His hands migrated to Guillermo’s hips under the trench coat and pushed him oh-so-slightly against the sink.  _ That was one of my dreams too,  _ Guillermo thought to himself, remembering his fantasy of cleaning Nandor’s beard in the bathroom, turning around to rinse the bloody handkerchief, only for Nandor to push him against the sink and--

A strange nausea settled in his stomach. It felt like his ears were ringing.

“I’m too tired for that, I’m sorry…”  _ This is too much. _

“It is absolutely fine. Good night kisses?”

_ I can do that.  _ Guillermo smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.  _ Why couldn’t Nandor always be this sweet? Why couldn’t things have been like this for years?  _ It hurt, realizing that he was always capable of being kind.

“Okay, one kiss,” Guillermo relented. He pushed back from the sink and turned around to face Nandor. Nandor just looked at him for a moment, an unguarded expression of pure…  _ love? Was that what it was?  _ Guillermo hoped so. Decided so. For that night, at least. 

Nandor embraced Guillermo, burying his head in the crook of Guillermo’s neck, and then trailed an uninterrupted line of little kisses to his mouth, staying at the surface of Guillermo’s lips, his hands planted on Guillermo’s back. They started to fall sideways, Guillermo panicking at his loss of balance but trapped in Nandor’s arms. Nandor twisted in the air and pulled Guillermo up on top of him. He turned off the bathroom light with his foot before slowly gliding back into the bedroom, still kissing Guillermo softly and stroking his back, calming the staccato of his heart. They drifted around the hotel room aimlessly, as if Nandor were a petal floating on the surface of a calm pond. Just as Guillermo fully relaxed, began to stroke Nandor’s hair and moan, Nandor dropped about a foot straight down with no warning and spun in mid air, chuckling into Guillermo’s mouth as Guillermo let out a strangled gasp, wrapping his legs around him, digging his fingers into his back, his heart rate skyrocketing again.  _ Such a show off...  _

Guillermo broke the kiss, looking up at Nandor with his chin resting on his chest, his heart still pounding, somewhat annoyed, working to squelch a small smile. He wasn’t going to acknowledge Nandor’s aerial acrobatics, to give him the satisfaction. To concede the game.

“You cheated. That wasn’t one kiss.”

“Tell me when I stopped kissing you,” Nandor teased, a hand idly stroking Guillermo’s hair, the other stroking his back again.

“Well…” Guillermo realized it had technically been one long, continuous kiss. “Okay, but it’s not, you know, in the spirit of things.”

“You know I’m always going to take what I can get away with,” Nandor said with a smile, bopping his nose.

Guillermo deflated at those words. “Yeah… yeah I know,” he said, looking away from Nandor.

\-----

They changed into their matching sleep clothes. Guillermo laid on his back and felt Nandor get into bed a few moments after. A trepidatious hand floated above his belly.

“Uh… Could we?” Nandor asked awkwardly. “Cuddle, I mean,” he corrected himself quickly when he saw Guillermo’s look. 

Guillermo thought about it.  _ It would be nice… _

“Can you promise me that you’ll stop if I fall asleep?” he asked.

Nandor looked at him with a surprisingly sad expression. “...Yes,” he nodded solemnly. 

“Okay.”

A smile flickered over Nandor’s face as his hand softly landed on Guillermo’s belly. He nuzzled his head into the crook of Guillermo’s neck and wiggled his other arm between Guillermo’s back and the mattress. Nandor sighed contentedly, weaving his legs between Guillermo’s under the sheets. Guillermo shifted and arranged himself to be more comfortable, placing a hand on top of Nandor’s on the soft fabric covering his belly. 

Nandor breathed at the same pace as Guillermo. Staring at the ceiling, Guillermo chose to focus on the rhythm of their shared breathing; even if he couldn’t fully relax, he could at least enjoy this moment in their truce. Nandor began to lightly snore.

Guillermo delicately rolled onto his side but panicked when Nandor’s grip on his shirt tightened, pulling him against him with a grunt.  _ You cheating… _

Guillermo pushed him away hard and Nandor awoke with a start. 

“Oh shit. Did I fall asleep?”

Guillermo glared at him and turned away. 

\-----

_ There was a large mirror with an intricate gold border in an endless black expanse. At first, Guillermo couldn’t see himself in it, but as he stepped closer, his reflection, wearing his new black trench coat with matching bandolier, became clearer.  _

_ A hand settled on his shoulder. Another snaked around his front, burrowing under the hem of his white shirt. Guillermo watched himself in the mirror as he grasped both invisible hands in his.  _

_ “I want to see you…” he barely whispered, rubbing his cheek against his own hand on top of the unseen other on his shoulder. Something kept him from turning around, from tilting his head, from looking anywhere but the mirror. At himself. _

_ He said nothing, only started to kiss Guillermo’s neck and slide the trench coat off his shoulders. His teeth lightly played at the soft flesh there, teasing but not puncturing. The red would look pretty on Guillermo’s white shirt… Guillermo could feel the tickle of his beard against his cheek and saw his own eyelids droop in content, easy pleasure at his gentle neck kisses. Guillermo lifted his arms, intertwining his hands into his long hair as his black bandolier fell away and his white dress shirt opened one button at a time. He could feel but not see hands slowly stroking his soft belly, over the light hair on his chest, along his sides.  _

_ A hand shoved his back hard and Guillermo fell forward onto thick furs. He could see himself on his hands and knees. His eyes were lit with fear, big and uncertain from under his glasses and the curls of his hair. A heavy weight settled on his back while a wet mouth licked and nipped at his ear. Guillermo understood and shuddered, his mouth slightly open with his shallow breaths. With anticipation.  _

_ Strong hands tore his clothes into shreds that flickered away like the embers of flames. A beard rubbed against Guillermo's cheek affectionately, a deep accented voice murmuring, "You are beautiful…", hands softly stroking seemingly everywhere but stopping just short of Guillermo's cock. Guillermo's breathing was getting deeper, his heart rate picking up steadily at the touch… The weight settled again on his back, cool skin against his warm flesh, an unmistakable hardness pressing against his ass. Guillermo rolled his hips backwards, only to have him pull away, denying him entirely. _

_ An invisible hand stroked his hair. "Beg for me. Only then can you have me." _

_ "I want you so bad… More than anything… Please, please… I’ll do anything..."  _

_ The hardness returned as a hand drifted down his side, giving him chills. Guillermo was so hard himself, but using both of his arms to prop himself up. "Keep going. I want to hear it. Details."  _

_ "I… I need this…", "And what is this?", "I need you inside me, I need you to fuck me hard...", "And who am I?" _

_ Hands gripped Guillermo’s hips and he felt knees spreading his thighs further apart. His reflection was on his elbows, ass up behind him, face flushed with heavily lidded eyes and a parted mouth.  _

_ "Please… Nandor the Relentless… Please fuck me relentlessly..."  _

_ UMM… HELLO? SHOULD I WAKE YOU?  _

_ N-no. Don't.  _

_...CAN I TOUCH YOU? _

_ No. You... can listen.  _

_ YAYYY... THANK YOU.  _

_ A hand slapped Guillermo's ass hard and growled at him to make sure and speak up.  _

_ "That'll be easier if you give me something to scream about…" Guillermo almost looked behind him but a rough hand pushed his head into the fur as a slick, cool cock slowly entered him. His mouth fell open and he moaned Nandor's name coated with pleasure, his fingers curling in the soft fur. The hips rocking against him were slow, gentle, agonizingly so. Guillermo tried to back into them harder, but was punished with even softer, shallower movements. He reached for himself but a hand slapped him away. _

_ "Get back up on your hands. I will make you scream." _

_ Guillermo obeyed, locking eyes with his own reflection as he pushed himself back up. Immediately, he was rewarded with harder thrusts and a mouth nibbling and kissing his neck, long hair brushing against his shoulders. Arms wrapped around him tight and he didn't ever want them to let go. Guillermo watched his own brows furrow with mounting pleasure as the hips pumping into him snapped harder and harder, the cock attached to those hips so goddamn big… making his mouth open with breathy pants and whines, making his eyes glassy with how fucking good it felt, making his body start to gleam with sweat.  _

_ "Nandor… Nandor you feel so, so fucking good. Ohhh… fuck... I love your cock, Nandor… " Guillermo made sure to be loud and say his name as much as he could. He was rewarded for his sighs, his moans, the more details he provided in the exact ways that he was being unravelled. A hand wrapped around his cock and stroked in the same demanding rhythm. Guillermo gasped and got even louder, clenching the fur in his hands as his thighs began to shake. _

_ The deep voice wasn't wrong. There was some small shift in positioning and now that cock was ramming into his prostate. Guillermo screamed. _

_ "NANDOR! Nandor… Ohhh fuck fuck fuck me! Fucking shit, Nandor! You feel amazing… Don't stop Nandor, don’t stop please aghhh… I'm so close, fuck, fuck!" _

_ I AM BEGGING YOU TO LET ME TOUCH YOU. I WILL DO LITERALLY ANYTHING. _

_ Ahh, ah, ohhh fuck, oh--okay. Okay! Touch me touch me touch me please Nandor…  _

_ FUCKING SHIT... GUILLERMO… LOOK AT YOU… I PROMISE I WILL DO THIS FOR YOU.  _

_ Guillermo collapsed into the furs and came so hard that he-- _

_ \----- _

Nandor was wrapped around him in bed, kissing his neck, stroking his chest and belly under his shirt, rock hard. It made his bug bites itch, but Guillermo was willing to ignore that. He was whispering his name, variations of "my Guillermo" decorated with lush adjectives like lovely, beautiful, and wonderful, over and over. 

As Guillermo floated up from the murky depths of the dream, the colder waters of reality trickled through his mind. As he lay there on his side, facing away from the soothing drone of Nandor’s voice and his sweet touches and obvious arousal, he couldn't help but wonder… _Was that all me? Or you?_ _Was this just another game… to tease me and get me to scream for you...?_

He had no way of knowing. No way of knowing if his dreams were truly his own. Where Nandor’s influence on him begins and ends. His thoughts were edging dangerously close to dark water, he knew. But… Not once in the past ten years had it ever, ever occurred to him that Nandor had been listening to his dreams, sneaking into his closet room, and touching him,  _ how exactly? _

Imagining that it was like this made Guillermo's heart ache with a sick wistfulness. Initially, he dismissed it. It would be too risky, Nandor would worry about getting caught. But then he remembered the mindwipe Nadja told him about. The thought flowed through him like ice water being poured down his back.  _ He had only done it once, right? It seemed that way… To erase the word “friend”...  _ The next thought came like a black wave.

_ Do I know anything for certain? _

"Are you still tired?" Fingers toyed with the waistband of Guillermo’s sleep trousers. 

"Yes." 

The hand withdrew. Returned to stroking his belly. 

"The rest of you too. I just… got caught up in the moment."

“Oh…” 

He let go of Guillermo and turned away. 

\-----

_ I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A PARLAY.  _

_ If that’s a sex thing, that‘ll be a hard no. _

_ IT’S--NO. DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS A SEX THING? YEESH. HAVE I REALLY NOT DISCUSSED THE FINER MATTERS OF NEGOTIATION WITH YOU?  _

_ I was just a pathetic familiar, so no.  _

_ PERHAPS I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT.  _

_ Perhaps. _

_ YOU WERE, AND ARE, MUCH MORE THAN THAT. _

_ You haven’t exactly made that clear. I don’t even know why you like me.  _

_ AGAIN, I WAS WILLING TO BURN TO AN AGONIZING DEATH FOR YOU, BUT SURE… I CAN ANSWER THAT EASILY. YOUR HAIR. YOUR EYES. YOUR ARMS WITH YOUR LITTLE HANDS. YOUR SMILE. THEY HAVE ALL HAUNTED ME FOR SO LONG.  _

_ Those are all physical things, though.  _

_ ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE. WHEN I TOUCH YOUR HAIR AND YOU MAKE THAT LITTLE NOISE... YOUR EYES… YOUR EYES ARE LIKE… THE WONDER IN THEM WAS THE MOST ADDICTIVE ELIXIR. THEY HAVE MADE ME LAUGH MANY TIMES. MADE ME FEEL LUST, TOO. AND… THEY HAVE MADE ME WANT TO KILL FOR YOU. I HAD TO BE CAREFUL, LOOKING IN YOUR EYES. _

_ I really like what I'm hearing. Don't stop.  _

_ YOUR LITTLE HANDS. YES, I KNEW WHY IT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO DRESS AND BATHE ME. BUT WATCHING YOUR LITTLE HANDS, THAT WERE SO CAREFUL AND SOFT AND TIMID… TAKING THE SLIGHTEST OF LIBERTIES… I WAS OFTEN TEMPTED TO KISS THEM.  _

_ R-really? _

_ YES, GUILLERMO. YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE ONE OF THOSE SNAPPY TRAPS FOR THE MOUSES ALL THE TIME.  _

_ If I somehow find out that these are lies I won't forgive you. Ever.  _

_ I PROMISE I AM POURING MY HEART TO YOU. THERE IS A LOT MORE. _

_ I want to hear all of it.  _

_...IS THIS HOW I FIX US? _

_ Maybe.  _

_ BRACE YOURSELF THEN.  _

_ I've been dying to hear this for years. I'm ready.  _

_ YOU HAVE MENTIONED FEELING LIKE A TOY OR A PLAYTHING. I WILL NOT DENY SOME OF THAT. YOU WERE YOUNG AND FOOLISH AND IT WAS A THRILL TO SEE YOU GET ALL FLUSTERY. TO SEE THE TINY WAYS I COULD SEND YOUR HEART TO THE RACES. A VERY FUN GAME, I ADMIT. I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME THAT. BUT ALSO, YOU ARE LIKE A REFRESHING STRETCH. OR A LITTLE BALL OF SUNSHINE THAT DOES NOT INCINERATE MY FLESH. YOUR SMILE IS SO FUCKING CUTE THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP HEADS OFF AND TEAR THINGS TO SHREDS. ...THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT JUST BEING WITH YOU THAT MAKES THE TIME SLOW DOWN. YOU SURPRISE ME. THE FUNNY FACES YOU MAKE, THE LITTLE GLANCES WE WOULD SHARE, THEY MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS IN ON A SECRET WITH YOU. YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORKED VERY HARD, ALWAYS TRYING YOUR BEST. WHEN YOU FAIL, YOU GET BACK UP AND TRY AGAIN ANYWAY, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES IT HAS BEEN. YOU ARE SURPRISINGLY STRONG AND CLEVER… SOMETIMES EVEN BRUTAL. BUT THAT EDGE MAKES YOUR SWEETNESS SING ALL THE MORE. YOU ARE--EH, WERE MY FAVORITE FAMILIAR OF ALL TIME… NOT TO GET ALL LUSTY, BUT YOU ALWAYS SMELL VERY GOOD TO ME AND YOU ARE VERY WARM. LIKE A FRESH BREAD BASKET, WHEN I ENJOYED THOSE KINDS OF THINGS. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT I WANT TO CUDDLE YOU A LOT… JUST HOLD YOU AND LISTEN TO YOUR BREATH AND YOUR HEARTBEAT AND FEEL AT PEACE... AT LEAST FOR AS LONG AS YOU WILL HAVE ME. I HOPE MORE THAN ANYTHING THAT YOU WILL STILL HAVE ME. BECAUSE I--I… DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO, WITHOUT YOU. _

_ …Fuck... _

_...ARE YOU OKAY? DID I MESS UP AGAIN…?  _

_ No… I think I'm crying… _

_ WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT IF… IF I HOLD YOU NOW?  _

_ Yes…  _

Guillermo experienced the bizarre sensation of waking up with tears streaming down his face. Nandor’s arms were wrapped around him, the comforting bulk of his body flush against him.

Despite years of holding back tears, Guillermo let himself just cry. Sobbed and shook for the words that Nandor finally gave him, poured out to him in an enormous deluge all at once that broke him in the best way. Words he had spent a decade toiling on his hands and knees for, praying for their existence, keeping faith day in and day out and hoping against hope that he wasn’t reading into signs that weren’t really there. The words that he did get constantly denying the others and denigrating him for daring to believe. Simultaneously punishing himself for the impulse, closing himself off to the possibility, keeping his head down and pushing through the next week, and then the next, knowing that everything would be easier if he could just cut his heart out, bury the need away, cauterize each frayed nerve… 

_ And here they finally, finally were. _

It hurt in the way that eating after starving hurts. That setting a broken bone hurts. 

After some time, Nandor asked quietly, "Do you forgive me?"

"I don't know," Guillermo struggled to catch a full breath and choked out, “I wish I did.” 

_ I wish more than anything that I could. _

Nandor was silent. A small wheeze escaped his throat. Guillermo’s voice was hoarse. 

“I want to believe you so badly... but I just--I can’t,” he turned his face into the sheets, “You’ve hurt me so many times, Nandor... Times you don’t even remember. You have fundamentally violated my trust in so, so many different ways that--that…” Guillermo gripped Nandor’s arms around his belly and sobbed again, unable to finish the sentence. 

“Then give me time... Give me time to keep proving to you, please Guillermo, please...” Nandor softly begged, nuzzling his face into the back of Guillermo’s curved neck, his lips brushing over his skin as he spoke. 

_ More time. After a decade, you want even more time...  _

It made Guillermo sob miserably, digging his fingers into Nandor’s forearms. He laid there in the dark, crying in Nandor’s arms, Nandor never letting him go. 

\-----

Guillermo woke up before Nandor, carefully detangling himself to get dressed and wash his salt-stained face. He was surprised at how much better he felt. He picked an outfit for Nandor from his trunk, a little piece of comforting routine for himself. 

Nandor woke up with a start, grabbing at the Guillermo-shaped void in the bed and whispering, “Guillermo…?!” in a panic.

“I’m here…” Guillermo said gently, a hand on Nandor’s leg at the foot of the bed. Nandor's face relaxed into a relieved smile that Guillermo returned. He could give Nandor a little more time.

They found Colin Robinson feeding on a couple with young kids who were trying to check in. Guillermo threatened to give Nandor butterfly kisses unless Colin Robinson agreed to drive on their way to pick up Nadja and Laszlo.

“Butterflies can kiss?” Nandor asked, blinking at Guillermo. 

“I... don’t know? What I’m talking about is like this,” Guillermo said, standing on his tiptoes and fluttering his eyelashes on Nandor's cheek, a delighted "ah" coming from Nandor.

Colin Robinson clutched his stomach and threatened to leave without them. 

They sat next to each other in the back of the van, hands intertwined. Whenever Colin Robinson started to drone, Guillermo would touch the ring on his left thumb and massage Nandor’s hand, thinking of the words he said. That he chose to believe were true.

\-----

They picked up Nadja and Laszlo from a seemingly abandoned house in the woods. Laszlo went for the front driver’s seat but Colin Robinson insisted he couldn’t bear sitting next to Nandor and Guillermo in the back.

“Honeymoon phase getting to you, is it?” Laszlo snickered at Colin Robinson. “Remember when we were like that, my sweetest, darkest princess, sovereign of my undead heart?” He opened the front passenger door of the van for Nadja and kissed her hand before pointlessly helping her in. Guillermo braced himself for Laszlo to sit next to him.

Najda laughed and taunted Laszlo. “Hmm, I think you’re jealous of Adelaide, my poor neglected husband.” 

“Well of course I am, darling. You two got to have all the fun and I could only listen!”

“What a coincidence!” Nandor exclaimed.  _ Oh my God. _ Guillermo turned bright red and elbowed him hard. “Oww, Guillermo, what was that for? Is it my fault that you have unbelievably hot sex dreams about me?” 

“I don’t know! Is it?” Guillermo said accusingly, tearing his hand away from Nandor’s, livid that they were having this conversation. Nandor frowned at him and pulled the cape Guillermo had picked out for him close to his body, leaning away from Guillermo. Guillermo wove his fingers behind his neck and propped up his arms on his knees, flinching away when he touched Laszlo’s leg. 

Colin Robinson chuckled and said, “See? Took you two long enough,” as he started the van.

\-----

On the highway to Houston, Colin Robinson drove twenty miles under the speed limit in the fast lane, cackling as people honked and flipped them off. 

Once they were in the city proper, the vampires gravitated to a bar to feed. Guillermo found food on his own, evading Nandor as much as he could. This time Nandor didn't pursue him.

Back at the hotel, Guillermo still refused to cuddle with Nandor as the sun rose. He wore his black trench coat to bed, with the silver crucifix wrapped around the belt tied at the front. Nandor eyed it, glowered at him, but said nothing.

The next night in Austin played out the same. And then again, in Abilene. 

\-----

_ HEAR ME OUT. _

_ I pretty much have to anyway. _

_ LET ME INTO YOUR HEAD. _

_ Why. The fuck. Would I ever? _

_ BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT I’VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE. YOU WILL BELIEVE ME, THAT YOU ARE DREAMING YOUR OWN DREAMS. THAT OUR… THAT WHAT WE HAVE TOGETHER IS REAL.  _

_ I’m not agreeing, but if I did, how would this work? _

_ JUST LIKE ENTERING A HOUSE, YOU HAVE TO INVITE ME. YOU CAN JUST SAY, “COME ON IN TO MY MIND”. _

_ … _

_ I WILL BE THE MOST GRACIOUS GUEST. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LONG. A SIMPLE DEMONSTRATION. I REALLY MISS YOU… I WANT THIS TO END. I SEE NO OTHER PATH FORWARD. _

_...Okay. Please, please don’t make me regret this… Come on into my mind…  _

\-----

Guillermo was standing in the junk room back at the house, where he and Nandor would play chess, put on puppet shows, and spy on the neighbors. There was a chess game set up, a huge mirror on one side of the table and a simple wooden chair at the other. 

A hand tapped his shoulder and he startled. 

“Who else would it be?” Nandor laughed. 

Nandor’s entire presence felt out of place. Like sand in his eye, food stuck between his teeth, or a persistent hangnail. Guillermo noticed that Nandor was wearing his coat with the fur collar and leather trousers; his seduction outfit. Looking down at himself, Guillermo recognized the black three piece suit from Adelaide’s, with the silver detailing. He poked Nandor’s chest. It felt firm. Guillermo dragged his fingers over the thick hair there and sure enough, his cool flesh gave in the exact way it would in waking life.

“Oh,” Guillermo blinked. This didn't feel like a dream at all.

“Yes… Can I show you something?” Nandor asked, putting his hand on top of Guillermo’s, against his chest. Above his heart. Although with no pulse, it was hard to be sure.

“Okay.”

The junk room streaked away like chalk being washed by rain. Guillermo felt like his mind was being pulled through a taffy machine. It wasn’t painful, exactly, but it was reminiscent of vertigo, or getting the spins from drinking too much. The fancy room came into focus, all the furniture swept away. It took a moment for Guillermo to feel solid again. There was a waltz playing on the gramophone. Nandor placed his hands on Guillermo’s shoulders.

“Now you see. I was telling you the truth. You would certainly remember if I had done this before. I have never, ever made you dream anything that was not your own. Even with the nightmares, I simply stop them.” He placed his forehead against Guillermo’s. It did start to settle.  _ He wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted… It’d be impossible to get away with. _

Guillermo toyed with the fur on Nandor’s coat. He felt incredibly relieved. Some of the tension left his shoulders that he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying.

“Why are you wearing that?” Guillermo asked, his eyes raking over Nandor’s seduction outfit.  _ It certainly… did its job... _

Nandor chuckled, “Your mind picked it for me,” raising his eyebrows suggestively and grinning wide.

Nandor’s hands drifted to Guillermo’s hips. Guillermo’s eyes flitted over his powerful thighs straining against the leather, his bulge doing much the same, his bare chest framed by soft fur, his smoldering eyes surrounded by the thick black curtain of his hair…  _ How would that even work? _

“The pleasure will feel real, Guillermo… Better than a dream...” Nandor purred.  _ Maybe… maybe later…  _ This was all incredibly foreign. The presence of Nandor was still like an itch that Guillermo could mostly ignore, but it never completely vanished. Scanning the fancy room, he noticed that the walls were draped with long, lightly fluttering multi-colored sheets of silk instead of wallpaper.

“Why are we here?”

Nandor’s eyes were liquid affection as he smoothed his hands over Guillermo’s upper arms. “You must have happy memories here.” 

_ It’s where you taught me to waltz…  _ It was one of Guillermo’s best memories. A warm smile graced Nandor’s face.  _ Maybe he remembered too? _

“Could we… could we dance?” Guillermo asked. 

Nandor beamed. “Yes! Let us dance.”

After Nandor’s one and only waltz lesson, Guillermo had taught himself a variety of dances from Youtube videos, on the off-chance that one day Nandor would need to practice again. That day had never come. 

But now, they started slow and simple, following the easy beat of the waltz, Guillermo bubbling with the purest sense of love for Nandor since their first real kiss in the silk tub. They stepped up their pace, the music seemingly sensing their tempo. Guillermo dipped Nandor and scraped his nails down his chest. Kissed the space above his heart.

Nandor dragged Guillermo against him by gripping his thigh. “I am impressed, Guillermo. It seems you can do anything… Well, almost anything,” he murmured into his ear huskily. Nandor dropped Guillermo’s leg, rushing towards him, tightening his grip around him as he stepped into the air with a flourish that was so strong it blew out some of the candles. They glided up and up and up, spinning around and around, Guillermo’s eyes pure wonder. This was the closest thing to magic he had ever experienced.  _ I love you… I love you so much…  _

As they got further away from the ground, it got dark enough that Guillermo twisted his ring. Near the top of their arc, Nandor dipped him. When he pulled Guillermo back up he was stunned by Nandor’s eyes. He couldn’t look away. They practically sparkled, reflecting the glow of his ring, so soft and warm. His hair, his beard, his mouth curved in a small smile... Like a secret. Just the two of them. 

They kissed, melting into each other at last. Just like their dance, they started slow and careful, building to a more aggressive tempo, and finally giving into it desperately. They were wrapped in each other, kissing with a passion that had built up over a decade, a glowing light against a dark ceiling. It felt so right. The pieces finally clicked. They moaned for each other, hands grasped for each other’s hair, and Guillermo’s heart was on fire. Tied together with his euphoria, Guillermo had the strongest sense of deja vu.

It made no sense,  _ how could this have ever happened before?  _ He brushed it off, probably just a dream he forgot about. Guillermo broke the kiss and hugged Nandor, laughing. “Okay, okay. I believe you about my dreams.”

Nandor sighed in relief, nuzzling his beard against Guillermo’s cheek affectionately. 

_ But there was still that other thing.  _ If Guillermo could lay that to rest, then everything, everything would be perfect...

“There’s… there’s nothing else, right?” Guillermo looked at him with a quiet hope in his eyes. 

“How do you mean?” Nandor’s face was blank.

“Well so…” Guillermo swallowed. It might be easier to build up to. “You’ve never, like, had Laszlo hypnotize me on purpose?”

Nandor shook his head vigorously. “Absolutely not. Never. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you from him. And… and the other thing...” he clutched Guillermo’s head and held it close, whimpering quietly.

“It’s okay,” Guillermo said softly, closing his eyes and finally meaning it. “And then… you really haven’t ever mindwiped me?” He thought about the conversation in the car after they abandoned Benjy. In the decade he spent as a familiar, he had never noticed missing time or unexplained injuries…  _ It probably really was just the one... _ Guillermo was so sure that he would answer honestly. Needed him to. After all this, how could he not? 

Nandor’s face was lit with the same kind of dim panic as if he had left the stove on. It shifted into an uneasy frown. 

“Um… Did I say that?”

Guillermo clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. He could step back from this, he knew. Could let it go. Bring it up another time. But what was the point of building something with Nandor if he was still caught in a web of lies? He had tried ignoring it and doubt seeped out anyway, poisoning everything. Guillermo wanted to wash everything clean.

“Have you mindwiped me, Nandor?” he asked more firmly.

Nandor’s shoulders slumped. “Do you really want to ruin this moment for us?” 

_ Oh God. How do you find so many ways to disappoint me?  _ Guillermo returned his glowering expression with his own. Nandor flinched, averting his gaze from Guillermo but still holding him tight as ever. Guillermo decided to hope. Decided to hope that he would answer honestly, would admit to the one mindwipe. That they would be okay. 

“I need to know. Please be honest with me,” he finally said.  _ Please, please… Give me this.  _

“Perhaps all of this reminded you…” Nandor glanced around the room before looking back at him, “One time, yes. One time we were waltzing, I think…?” 

It stung that Nandor barely remembered one of Guillermo’s favorite memories. 

“Practicing for a masquerade or something? Who can say?” 

_ I can say... _

“Regardless, I confess that I’ve made this move before, the taking you up with me, and… ugh, you were so awed… so beautiful. It was my mistake. But we kissed. And… I took that from you. I regret it deeply.” Nandor’s downcast eyes, his slack mouth, were met with Guillermo’s broken expression. A hand stroked Guillermo’s cheek, but Guillermo turned his head away. Bit his lip.

_This wasn’t the mindwipe that Nadja said._

“So… so that’s it?” Guillermo asked, willing his voice to stay steady.

Nandor’s voice rose, bordering on hysterical. "There were so many times that I didn't even though I really really wanted to, Guillermo! You obviously didn't like my glitter portrait…" Nandor grimaced, looking down, dejected.

"The fucking glitter portrait?!"  _ Of all the things to bring up…  _ Guillermo couldn’t believe it.

"Yes!” he looked back at Guillermo like a wounded dog, “My promise to you! I worked so hard on our picture of our future together and you just… It was so embarrassing…" Nandor looked up, his mouth folded closed. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"Fucking what?" Guillermo was astonished.  _ It was… a proposal? _

"Was that not clear?"

"No! That wasn't clear at all! How on earth would I know that?” Guillermo tried to calm his tone.

“Is that not something that people do anymore?” Nandor looked vaguely ill.

“No… it’s not… Why would I want a picture? I just wanted you to finally turn me! ...Why couldn't you just talk to me?" 

Guillermo again felt disoriented, his mind buzzing to recontextualize the past year with this bizarre new information. Nandor… had tried, in his way, to finally give up the games and tell Guillermo what he wanted.  _ And he thought it had only been two years…  _ And in his mind, Guillermo had turned him down.  _ Fuck. _

"I know that I am not good with words… Besides, Colin Robinson told me that a picture says a thousand words. I could make sure that I got each of them right. And--and if I simply asked, you might have said no. It might have made things weird."  _ Oh, that’s what would make things weird between us? _

Guillermo sighed. "Wow. I don’t really know what to say. I… I really wish you had just talked to me instead of playing games for years." 

"But I had no way of knowing…"

"Knowing what?"

"If you just wanted to fuck me or if you really loved me…"

Guillermo wanted to explode.

"What a coincidence!” he yelled incredulously, tempted to strangle him. He flexed his hands in the fabric of Nandor’s coat.

“Nandor…" Guillermo closed his eyes and sighed deeply, "Why, why would anyone put up with your shit for ten years?" 

"I mean... I am very, very attractive…" he whispered low into Guillermo's ear.

_ That move won't work again. _

"The only thing that stopped you from mindwiping me was that we were on camera. How many times have you done it? How many times did you just… steal a piece of my life from me?"  _ You already stole more than a decade. _

"Well that’s a little dramatic,” Nandor lifted a skeptical eyebrow. “Come on, Guillermo… Let's not do this… At least not now," Nandor pleaded with his eyes. 

"...How do I know you haven't taken something from me every single day?" Guillermo asked softly.

“I haven’t,” Nandor insisted.

“And how do I know that?” Guillermo asked more harshly. 

“Fine, since you are intent to not believe me about anything, try to approach it logically. Firstly, you would notice the missing time, no? Secondly, you have so many shitty memories. If I went around mindwiping you all the time, wouldn’t all of your memories be happy?” Nandor responded condescendingly. Like it was obvious. Like Guillermo was stupid. 

_ You could have changed my dreams and then erased that,  _ Guillermo realized with a horrified chill.  _ Or… real nightmares... _

“I’d hardly have any memories…” Guillermo said, looking down and away from Nandor, his voice cold and heavy and quiet, like a glacier.

“You know if anything, the mindwipes are favors!” Nandor exclaimed.

_ Oh fuck you. _

The room got darker, colder, the music changing to something more menacing. The glow of the ring dimmed. Guillermo began to let go of Nandor, wriggling out from his grip. Nandor yelled, “No, you’ll fall!” and clung to him tighter. 

Guillermo shoved him away and floated on his own.  _ It’s a dream, isn’t it? _

_ Wasn’t all of it, really? _

Black flames were slowly licking up the silk, consuming the walls in languid waves. Guillermo clenched his hands behind his back. He was wearing the black trench coat. 

“Guillermo! Guillermo, please!” Nandor floated towards him, his arms reaching for him, “There aren’t that many, I swear to you!” desperation cracking his voice. 

Guillermo lifted his head towards the ceiling and took a deep breath. It frosted above him, an ephemeral white mist that dissipated in the shadows.

"I can give them back to you! You will see then!" 

_ They were never yours to take. And you could still take them again… Maybe you have. _

Nandor was hovering in front of him, his hands curled in shaking anxious claws, the dark light of black flames glinting off of his rings and his eyes. Guillermo imagined slicing him open like a fish, to see what would really come out. 

“Guillermo, why aren’t you saying anything? Please say something...” he begged, pulling on his fingers. He grabbed his cape. The cape he had worn in the woods.

Guillermo descended silently. The walls were scorched black with ash, the silk gone. Nandor trailed behind him. When they reached the floor, Guillermo sunk underneath it into a black void. He reached for his ring but it wasn’t there. Finally, after flowing down through freezing cold nothingness, his feet struck something solid. A moment later, he heard Nandor land nearby, summoning a small, pale flame that illuminated a seemingly endless expanse of smooth black ice. Guillermo couldn’t distinguish his shadow from his reflection. 

Nandor’s steps echoed off of the ice. Guillermo didn’t turn around. 

A cape wrapped around Guillermo followed by hands draping over him. Over his heart. A shivering mouth misted breath against his ear. Guillermo clenched his hands and didn’t look at him. Didn’t look at anything.

"Please... Guillermo... I lo--"

Guillermo whipped around and plunged a silver dagger through Nandor's heart, up to the hilt. 

"No, you don't." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to chels for beta-ing! Thanks also to Lee from the Nandermo discord server for their incredible insight into the glitter portrait as Nandor's confession of love/vision of his and Guillermo's future together and then to Interrobam for encouraging me to tie it to the mindwipes. 
> 
> "Dream of Mirrors" is by Iron Maiden and is surprisingly fitting.
> 
> You can read about Guillermo's waltz lessons from Nandor in my work "Clean Slate". 
> 
> This isn't the end, of course. Thank you for reading! And suffering. ;)


End file.
